When I stopped being an angel
I filled the freezer
flowers, marigolds, lilies, dandelions
trembling lovely in the white emptiness
stems brittle, petals cracking
my faith dry and scattered
God; my hope, my fear
I was told a lie, pain inflicted upon me and my people
6 million: Auschwitz, Krakow, Bergen-Belsen
yet I did not scream for revenge
if another must suffer for my suffering
then I too deserve to suffer again
someday I will build a mountain
show you to love all your people
because if god is unjust
the world is a prison with no reward
the light at the end only a future of consumption
your promises so many times broken
oh-so-holy-glares from the best of humanity
because they still have faith
FAITH:
following a coyote into his den
convincing yourself his bite is only a test
as he tears your skin apart
You broke your promise
left me here alone
on the frozen streets of America
where the sun is never hot enough
to burn away the inequity
didn’t answer my cries
didn’t guide me when I was lost
in your mess of creation
no, my eyes will not lower
as eyes have lowered to me
I am better then you
don’t make promises I can’t keep
you selfish god
happy as long as praised
children cursed for their fathers’ sins
and me
falling
falling
toward hell
somehow lost my way.
I used to be an angel
eyes strong, pulling you toward me
fingers forever clasping yours
now I am a shadow
hands grip each other
eyes avoid yours
tomorrow I will be a bird
free again
raise my eyes like wings
as I fly toward yours