Works of verse
My goldfish is dead.
I took a leak in his tank,
maybe that killed him…
Oh God help us all!
I mixed gas and orange juice.
I made some napalm.
The chow mein is old.
I tried to microwave it,
it’s now on the wall.
I dropped a hammer.
It fell on my fucking foot.
Ouch! Goddammit all!
Bright stars shine like diamonds,
the night sky an inky, black background.
Families mill about
watching, waiting, expecting.
Balloons flutter in the breeze
like butterflies awaiting the wind.
We tie one to the fence,
the cold, metal fence,
gray, chain-link, and slightly rusted.
The divider.
And we wait.
A plane barrels down.
All that wait are crying out
laughter, shouts, cheers,
tears, joy, happiness, relief,
gratitude, excitement, elation,
And we wait.
They stream out of the plane’s belly,
some running, others calling for family.
And we wait.
A man walks up and touches my head.
I shrink back against my mother.
It’s scary, not recognizing him.
He kneels and takes off his helmet,
tears streaming down his face.
Daddy’s home.
Hello.
Good evening.
Why are you here?
I can’t say.
What do you hope to conquer?
I don’t know.
Who told you of this place?
I found it on my own.
How long do you intend to stay?
Until I remember.
Remember what?
I’m not sure.
How do you plan to remember?
Isn’t that what I’m here for?
Don’t ask questions.
Sorry.
Will you do something for me?
I’d go to the moon if you asked me to.
Then close your eyes and go.
I’m scared.
What do you see?
Pain. Love. You.
I know, I’ve been waiting.
Today’s the day,
my time to shine.
The time flies,
and yet drags on forever.
As I enter the ring,
I lose all consciousness
of all those crowds.
Now I must concentrate,
Concentrate.
Wait! Is it over already?
How did that happen?
I want to do it over!
Wait!
But they call my number,
in first place.
Can it be?
Can it really be?
It’s really all right,
and all those years,
those countless, countless years.
All of the exhausting work,
and the sacrifices,
oh, the sacrifices,
But they’ve all paid off,
They’ve been worth it.
And I’ve won,
I’ve finally won.
There must be more to life—
Graffiti on the walls
Announcing that he loves her.
Marked it on the walls,
Marked it on her with the shiner
She wears around town.
There must be more to life—
Windows with gunshot wounds.
I sit and wonder,
Cigarette between my fingers,
Do the windows ever bleed?
Is the glass pane long dead?
There must be more to life—
Life plays like a TV with the reception knocked out.
Everything is undefined static.
One day drags into the next without
Any distinction.
There must be more to life—
Mascara flakes off onto the tissue
In my hand as I wonder how
I’m going to get out of here—
My Urbania.
She had a ring around her
eye
a purple ring.
She took off her glasses so I could see where her father’s fist had framed
her lashes.
“Look what my dad gave me.”
I looked at her but I did not say anything.
Afraid of the light
I hide in my red
den.
From the other side
it looks like black and white
but from my angle:
death.
It haunts like some stalking shadow,
a vague whisper of night.
A relentless night,
an endless night.
Someday you will find me
crushed beneath the weight
of my sins,
stiff and cold. What a sight.
I long for warmth,
but the bright glare
overwhelms
into startling gray dots
that swim past my reality.
Marred
pour of blue substanceless
fear.
Empty words
as meaningless as any truth
scream aimlessly
into pretense.
Mythic hopes
vanish delicately
into the blackness.
Please ignore me,
and shut that door behind you.
I shun the day,
and the phosphorescent glow
that accompanies it.
It hurts
stabbing like a murderous acupuncturess
with dark advice on the sensitivity
of nerves.
The salve of darkness cloaks
while I rest from the numbing
overexposure.
I want to lose myself in
the rain
a torrent
of black angels’ tears
somewhere in deep forest
where only faeries talk
and moss is soft bed
and I can drown
in peace.
in pain.
take me there…
or I’ll walk one day.
just head out, past the horizon.
one foot after another,
as I have survived my whole life.
I will meander slowly through the rain
droplets softened by eves of pine trees
you will never see me again.
the black angels overhead
their wings brush the tips of the trees
as they loom above
and make the deer cower.
I sink to my knees
and give them homage
with my wrist and knife and blood.
The bus ride is long, but
it only culminates my longer day
A day of shattered hopes
A day of shattered dreams
Every day I return a little less of me
A little more of them
With every rumor uttered a dream is dead
With every wicked stare a hope quenched
Eventually I’ll stand and say “No! Not me, not today”
Eventually I’ll give up and fade away
green, dangling
swept up and falling
slowly I come to you
I’ll knock on your door
We’ll sit on the porch
smoking and being
We’ll let silence take its course
Now come to me softly,
closely.
I have a secret from the inside
Brighter days are spent with you
I bathe in comfort
In eye contact
in the smile on your lips
Come, linger for a while
so I will not forget your air.
Hold me tight
And sleep with me once.
At least once,
although a million times
if granted.
For people like you
don’t often pass me by
who turn on a light in me.
So let’s have our time be now
Before it is to go.
And be as careless as we wish
For tomorrow will pass
and we may forever
lose this chance
To be as close as close can be.